A Monkees' Bride
by Angel St. Mathew
Summary: OK, warning, not only is this a cross-over, what-if story about the Monkees acting out The Princess Bride, but I added a few charactors/friends of my own, just to make it interresting. It may not make any sense to some of you, but it sure was fun to write
1. Default Chapter

A MONKEES BRIDE  
By St. Mathew  
11/25/99-5/28/00  
(G)  
  
Cast:  
Peter Tork/Farm Boy(Hero)  
Valleri Cartwright(Heroine)  
Prince Ronnie Farnsworth(Bad Guy)  
Mike Nesmith (converted bad guy)  
Micky Dolenz (converted bad guy)  
Davy Jones (converted bad guy)  
Count Renoldo(Bad assistant)  
Miracle Mike (Mike Nesmith)  
Phyllis (Miracle Mike's wife, in real life, too!)  
Laboratory Slave (Micky Dolenz)  
Guards (Various buff dudes)  
  
  
Scene 1: Blackscreen:  
  
Narrator: A long, long time ago in a galaxy...er..I mean, land far away, there lived a beautiful young girl named Valleri. She lived on a big farm out in the middle of nowhere, and her favorite pastime was riding horses.   
  
CUT TO: Wide open spaces of grass; Valleri rides along on her silky, brown horse.  
  
Narrator: She also loved to torture the farmboy that worked around there.   
  
Valleri is walking her horse into the stable, where "Farmboy" is fixing a saddle holder.  
  
Valleri: Farmboy?  
  
He look's up, and we see that Farmboy is actually Davy Jones.  
  
Valleri: Polish my horse's saddle, I want to see my face shining in it by morning.  
  
Davy:(nodding) As you wish.  
  
Valleri turn's on her heel, flipping her hair back as she walk's away.  
  
Narrator: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.  
  
Davy look's straight at the camera.  
  
Davy:(pouting) Why can't I say something else for a change?  
  
Nar: Because it's in the script, now keep going.  
  
Davy mumbles something as he walk's off SR (Stage Right) to change for the next scene.  
  
Scene 2: Davy is outside chopping wood; Valleri walks up with two buckets.  
  
Valleri: Farmboy, fill these bucket's with water.  
  
Davy looks up at her, not answering.  
  
Valleri: Please?  
  
Davy:(almost a whisper; nodding) As you wish.  
  
Nar: It was that day that Valleri realized that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was "I love you".   
  
Valleri stared at him a moment before leaving SL (Stage Left). Davy stares after her, then pick's up his axe.   
  
Davy:(grumbling) I still think this would have been a good time to give me a more interresting line.....  
  
Nar: Oh, would you be quiet!  
  
Davy scowl's and walk's away SR.  
  
Scene 3: Blackscreen:   
  
Nar: Do to a certain number of irritating event's, the part of Farmboy will be played by Peter Tork, and Davy get's to be a stand in.  
  
Davy's voice: Hey!  
  
Nar: You had it comin', pal! Anyway, on with the story.....  
  
Scene 4: Peter walk's into the small house from outside, his arm's loaded with firewood. Valleri is sweeping the floor, and she sees him come in, and when he start's toward's the door, she panic's.  
  
Valleri: Farmboy?!  
  
Peter stop's and turns to her; Valleri searches for an excuse, then she sees a pitcher hanging on a hook.  
  
Valleri:(pointing) Fetch me that pitcher?  
  
Nar: Of course, she could have easily reached the pitcher herself, but this way was more interresting because this was the day that she realized she truly loved him back.  
  
Peter walks over and reaches for the pitcher, then hands it to her.  
  
Valleri:(smiling) Thank you.  
  
Peter smiles with his usual dimpled smile.  
  
Peter: You're welcome, Valleri!  
  
Just then, Davy enters in 60's jeans and t-shirt, arm's crossed.   
  
Davy:(irritated) Oh, sure! As soon as I get removed, he say's something else!  
  
Nar: Get outta the shot!  
  
Scene 5: Blackscreen:  
  
Nar: A couple of week's went by, and Valleri and Peter fell deeply in love. But Peter wanted to be able to provide for Valleri anything she ever needed, so they could live happily. So he decided to go to America and get a well paying job, then he'd send for her.   
Five day's after he left, Valleri got a letter saying that his ship had been attacked by the Dread Pirate Babbitt, who never took captives alive, especially those who didn't pay their rent on time.  
  
Peter's voice: Hey, it's not my fault! talk to Mike, he's the leader.  
  
Un-identified voice: Yeah, you're just the dummy!  
  
Peter's voice:(crying) I am not!  
  
Nar: Enough! Anyway, like I was saying, Farmboy died, and Valleri spent the next five years in denial.  
  
Valleri's voice: I'll never love again.  
  
Scene 6: Million's on villigers are gathered in the townsquare.  
  
Nar: Five years later, everyone was gethering in the townsquare to hear of Prince Ronnie Farnsworth's newfound bride-to-be.  
  
A fanfare is heard and everything fall's quiet. Prince Ronnie Farnsworth step's out onto the balcony to address the people.   
  
Ronnie:(clears throat) Hi! I'm the prince, as you may already know. In about a month or so is our country's 500th anniversary. On that night, I'm going to marry a lady who was once like you guy's. You wanna meet her?  
  
Crowd:(as one) YES!  
  
Ronnie: Good, because I was going to introduce her to you anyway. And now I present: Princess Valleri!  
  
Another fanfare is heard, but quickly dies under a bombardment of fruit's and vegitables. Just then, Valleri walk's out onto the platform in a beautiful dress, and look's out over the crowd with sorrow-filled eye's.   
  
Nar: Of course, none of this was Valleri's choice. Ronnie had the right as prince to choose whoever he wanted to be his wife, and she just happened to be in the right place (town) at the wrong time (when he was passing through). Dispite his reasureance that she would grow to love him, the only thing she liked to do now was ride her horse.  
  
Scene 7: Valleri is riding through the wood's and spot's some lonely men just standing around, so she rides up to them.   
  
Valleri: What the dickens are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?  
  
There are three men: One tall, lengthy one with wavy black hair and a wool, green hat, a slightly shorter one with frizzy, curly hair, a really short one with straight brown hair, and some old fart with hardly any hair at all!  
  
Mike(tall one with wool, green hat): We're lost.  
  
Old Man: Is there a town or something near here?  
  
Valleri: Are you out of your birds?! There isn't a single rest stop for miles!  
  
Old Man:(grinning evilly) Then no one will hear you scream.  
  
Valleri look's puzzled.  
  
Valleri: Scream? Now why would I do that?  
  
The four men look at each other, puzzled. This is not going the way they'd planned.   
  
Micky(curly haired one): Well.....We're....kidnapping you....right guy's?  
  
The other's nod, throwing in various "yeah"s and "Uh huh"s.  
  
Davy(short one):(trying to sound tough, but failing) Come on, now. Don't make us hurt you.....  
  
Valleri: HA! I'd like to see you try!  
  
Davy looks at his friend's for backup. They all shrug, giving none. Davy sigh's frustratingly.   
  
Davy:(aproaching her) Alright, you asked for it....  
  
At this, Valleri jump's off her horse and strikes a Kung Fu position! Davy stops, but one swift kick in the face from Valleri and he's out like a light! Davy sit's up and faces the camera.  
  
Davy: You would give me the charactor that get's beat up by a girl, do you just not like me or something?!  
  
Nar: You wouldn't play the charactor I gave you!  
  
Old Man: Can we just get on with this?  
  
Nar: Fine, fine. So, anyway, they took the princess captive and-  
  
Valleri: What!?! Are you serious!?! I just knocked the guy out for cryin' out loud!  
  
Remembering this, Davy goes back into his unconcious position.   
  
Nar: That's the way the story goes! If you didn't get kidnapped, then there wouldn't be any point in telling the story, would there?  
  
Valleri:(sighes) Fine.  
  
Nar: Ok, continue on.  
  
Old Man: Alright, let's get'er on the boat and get the heck outta here.  
  
Micky walk's up to help Valleri off her horse, but she pulls away.   
  
Valleri:(snapping) I can do it myself!  
  
Micky: If you say so.  
  
Valleri get's off and follow's Micky, Mike, and the Old Man off SL. After a moment of silence, Davy sit's up, realizing that everyone is gone.   
  
Davy: Hey! Wait for me!  
  
He jumps to his feet and run's after them.   
  
Scene 8: Mike, Micky, Davy, the Old Man, and Valleri are sitting around on a pirate ship, doing nothing.   
  
Nar: And so, Valleri was kidnapped by a group of ruthless, amature pirates. The leader of the group, the Old Man, was planning on taking her to the country across the sea, which just happened to be an enemy of Prince Farnsworth's. He planned on killing her and leaving her there. That way, when she was found, the country would be blamed for it, and a war would start. Needless to say, that was exactly what he wanted, and that was exactly why Prince Farnsworth hired him to do it. He wanted to start a war and defeat the other country so that he could be known as the great, strong, and powerful Prince Farnsworth! Of course, the other three pirates knew nothing about this, they were just glad to have a steady job and who they thought was a good leader.   
Man, next time you guy's can just have something written on the screen so I don't have to explain all this. Where's my water bottle?  
  
Old Man: We should rest now. We'll need our strength when climbing the cliff's of Idiocy.   
  
Micky: Um....Old guy?  
  
Old Man: What?  
  
Micky: You don't think anybody's following us, do you?  
  
Old Man: No, why?  
  
Micky: Well, I was just kinda lookin' around, when I saw that boat over there......  
  
The old man goes over to where Micky is and looks. Half of the TITANIC can be seen bobbing helplessly in the water in the distance.   
(Musical Score: My Heart Will Go On)  
  
Old Man: Oh, I'm sure they wont give us any trouble.   
  
Micky: Not that boat, THAT boat!  
  
He points in the other direction and the Old Man sees a small ship.   
  
Old Man: Probably just some fishers or somethin'.   
  
Mike: Hey, wait!  
  
Valleri is about to jump off the side of the boat, but Mike grabbes her and pull's her back in.   
  
Nar: What are you doing? She's supposed to jump in this scene!  
  
Mike: But those are eal infested waters, man!  
  
Nar: Fine, let's just skip to the next scene.  
  
Scene 9: Mike, Micky, Davy, Valleri, and the Old Man stand atop a very high cliff, where a rope dangles over the edge.   
  
Nar: Once getting to the top of the cliff's of Idiocy, our group discovers that the small ship had been following them after all, and now the owner of the ship was climbing up the rope, hot on their trail. So the Old Man decides to have Micky stay behind and "Dispose of him".   
  
Micky:(whining) But I don't wanna kill anybody.  
  
Old Man: Trust me, it's for the best.   
  
The Old Man, Mike, Davy, and Valleri make a hasty exit, leaving Micky to deal with the follower. He looks over the edge of the cliff, and sees that the man in getting closer. He starts to panic and paces back and fourth in the dirt, wringing his hand's.   
  
Micky: Oh, man! What am I gonna do? I can't kill some innocent guy! But if I don't, then he'll kill me, that wont be good....  
  
Micky continues to ramble like this for some time. Then he hears a noise and turns to see the man just starting to climb over the edge of the cliff. He is wearing black jeans, a black, short-sleeved t-shirt, and a black mask over his eye's, covered in the back by his blond hair. Micky runs to help him.   
  
Micky: Here, lemme help.   
  
Micky help's him up, and he gains his balance.   
  
Man:(grinning) Thank you!  
  
Micky: Yeah, sure.....(pause)......Um, are you sure you want to do this?  
  
Man: Do what?  
  
Micky: Ya know, fight and everything. I mean, I, for one, don't know why we should. Having no idea what's going on anyway, I see no reason to try and kill each other. Ya dig?  
  
Man: Yeah, that sound's good to me. I accidently dropped my sword on the way up anyway.   
  
Micky: Great! Listen, I have to use the John, so I'm gonna high tail it. I'm not on again for the next couple of scene's anyway.   
  
Man: Ok, see ya later, Mick.  
  
Micky exits SL. The man then turn's to the camera, lifting his mask, and we see that it's Peter(duh)!  
  
Peter: Do I hafta wear this thing? It itches like crazy!  
  
Nar: Peter! No one's supposed to know who you are yet!!  
  
Un-identified voice: Like we couldn't already tell!  
  
Nar: Shut up.   
  
Peter:(on the verge of tears) I-I'm sorry......I mean, I didn't know......  
  
Nar: It's ok, Peter. You only have to keep it on until you have to take it off.  
  
Peter:(not confused at all; smiles) Oh, ok!  
  
He walks off SR.   
  
Different voice: Was that supposed to make sense?  
  
Nar: No, Matt. I was putting it in logic that only Peter would understand.   
  
Matt's voice: Oooohhhhh........  
  
Scene 10: Peter is walking along the grassy hill's with his hand's in his pockets, humming merrily to himself.   
  
Nar: So he continued on his way, hoping to find the rest of the group soon.  
  
Suddenly, a Tarzan yell is heard, only with a slight British accent to it (if that's even possible) and Davy swing's past the camera on a makeshift (fake) vine. Then he swing's by again, and this time he let's go and lands in front of Peter.   
  
Davy:(smiling) Hello!  
  
Peter:(smiling) Hi! Hey, I thought you got cut out?  
  
Davy: Oh, no. I wasn't cut out, they just changed my part.  
  
Peter: Oh, am I supposed to fight you now?  
  
Davy: I guess so, it's in the script.   
  
Peter: Gosh, I hate to fight.  
  
Davy: Yeah, me too.........You wanna just skip it?  
  
Nar: But--  
  
Peter: Yeah, let's do that.   
  
Davy: Ok, I'm not on again for a while so I'm gonna go find Micky and see if we can't dig up somethin' t'do in the meantime.   
  
Peter: All right, bye.   
  
Davy exit's SL; Peter continues walking.   
  
Scene 11: Peter is now walking among large stones and boulders.   
  
Peter:(talking to himself) This place sure doesn't look too safe. Anybody could be hiding right behind one of these rocks.   
  
Peter waves his arm's in gesture toward the rocks.   
  
Mike:(coming out from behind a rock) Gosh darn it, Peter, you blew the secret! I'm supposed to jump out and scare you.  
  
Peter: Gee, I'm sorry, Mike. (pause) Well, let's look at the bright side. Since I blew the scene, let's just skip the fight and--  
  
Nar: Oh, no you don't!  
  
Peter and Mike both look at the camera.  
  
Peter: What?  
  
Nar: You skipped the last two fight's! I'm not let'n you weasel your way outta this one, too!  
  
Peter:(whining) Aw, c'mon! I don't wanna fight!  
  
Mike: Yeah, he's still got the last guy to beat, ya know.   
  
Nar: But that's supposed to be a battle of witt's.   
  
Un-identified voice: Yeah, something he ain't got!  
  
Peter's eye's fill with tears and he bites his lower lip to keep from crying.  
  
Mike: Shut up!  
  
Nar: Yeah, get outta here!  
  
Mike put's an arm around Peter's shoulders.   
  
Mike: It's ok, buddy. They don't know what they're talkin' about. You're a smart guy, and you know it.  
  
Peter: *sniff* Really?  
  
Mike: Yeah, really.   
  
Peter: Well, ok. If you say so, Mike.   
  
Mike: I do say so.   
  
Nar: You know what, Peter? You can just skip this scene, ok? It doesn't matter that much. Beside's, there's still the prince to beat.   
  
Peter: *sniff* Are you sure?  
  
Nar: Yeah, don't worry about it, let's do the next scene.   
  
Peter: *sniff* Ok.   
  
Scene 12: Blackscreen:  
  
Nar: Peter later met up with the Old Man, and in a nutshell, beat him at his own game.   
  
Peter's voice: I thought you were gonna have me act out the part?  
  
Old Man's voice: Yeah, and what happen's to me!?  
  
Nar: You die.  
  
Old Man's voice: What!?!  
  
Nar: Didn't you read the script?  
  
Old Man's voice: No.   
  
Nar: Well, you should have.   
  
Peter's voice: But I don't want to kill anybody.  
  
Nar: It's ok, Peter. He was asking for it.   
  
Old Man's voice: I was?  
  
Peter's voice: He was?  
  
Nar: Yep. And beside's, you didn't really kill him, it's all just fake for the benefit of the audience.  
  
Peter's voice: Oh, but that still doesn't make it right.   
  
The Narrator smack's his/her forehead, groaning. (you're not supposed to know wether it's a girl or a boy yet).   
  
Nar: Anyway, now Peter had finnaly reached princess Valleri, only she doesn't know it's Peter yet, so she just think's she's been kidnapped again by another pirate.   
  
Scene 13: Peter and Valleri run across the set and stop SC (Stage Center).   
  
Valleri: I know who you are. The fact that you're a jerk tell's it all. You're the Dread Pirate Babbitt, admit it!  
  
Peter:(smiling) Ok. (he strikes a tough, handsome position; hands on hips) I am the Dread Pirate Babbitt!  
  
Valleri lift's her nose and turns away from him.  
  
Peter:(whining) Why are you so mean to me?  
  
Valleri: Because you killed my boyfriend.  
  
Peter: Oh....well......That would do it, I guess......(pause; he looks up) I did?  
  
Matt's voice from offstage: He did?  
  
Valleri: Yes, and by doing so, you ruined my life! I hate you!  
  
Peter suddenly point's behind her, and she turn's to see Ronnie and his men in the distance.   
  
Peter: Hey, look. It's your jerk fiance.   
  
Valleri:(low to herself) Dang.....  
  
Peter: I thought you wanted to be rescued?  
  
Valleri: I do, but not by him. I'd rather die then go back with him.  
  
Valleri turns to Peter, as if just then remembering her current situation.   
  
Valleri: And you can die too for all I care!  
  
She pushes him and, losing his balance, he roll's down the hill.   
  
Peter:(yelling with difficulty) As you wish!  
  
Valleri's eye's go wide.   
  
Valleri: Oh, my dear Peter! What have I done!!  
  
She tries to run after him, but stumbles and end's up rolling down the hill much like he did.   



	2. A Monkees Bride - part2

Scene 14: Blackscreen:  
  
Nar: And so, Valleri discovered the true identity of her rescuer, and she was so happy to see Peter slive.   
  
Valleri's voice: Oh, Peter! I'm so happy you're alive!  
  
Peter's voice: Yeah, me too!  
  
Nar: And Peter was very happy, too. Not only was he back with Valleri, but she wasn't treating him like dirt anymore!  
  
Peter's voice: Gee, Vall, I'm so happy you're not treating me like dirt anymore.   
  
Valleri: Oh, I'm sorry, Peter.   
  
Peter: It's alright.   
  
Nar: Peter explained to Valleri all about how Babbitt didn't kill him after all, and how he stayed on the ship, learning anything anyone would teach him. He told her about how Babbitt wanted to retire and give the ship over to Peter. It worked for a while, until Peter handed the ship over to someone else so he could go back to Valleri.   
By the time Peter had explained all the details, they had made it to the other side of the Fire Swamp, a thick, dreadful forest. They ran into a couple of problem's on the way, but Peter convinced me to skip that part, so I won't go into detail.   
(Yelling offstage) Nate, did you steal my water bottle again!?  
  
Open Scene to show Peter and Valleri walking hand in hand out of the thick wood's.   
  
Peter: Well, that wasn't too hard, was it Vall?  
  
Valleri:(smiling) Nope.  
  
Suddenly, Prince Farnsworth (Ronnie) ride's up on his hoarse, along with a bunch of soldiers and his faithful buddy, Count Renoldo. Peter step's in front of Valleri protectively.   
  
Ronnie: Surrender.  
  
Peter look's confused.   
  
Peter: You mean you want to surrender to me?  
  
Ronnie: No! You need to surrender so I can take my bride home!  
  
Peter: Oh.....But what if I don't want to?  
  
Ronnie: You don't have a choice. Release her, or I'll have you killed!  
  
Peter: Than kill me!   
  
Valleri: No! I'll come with you, but you have to promise not to hurt him.  
  
Ronnie: Very well.   
  
Valleri:(to Peter) I would never forgive myself if you died again, not when I can do something about it.  
  
Peter: But Vally.....  
  
Valleri: I love you, Peter.   
  
Peter: I love you, too.   
  
Ronnie:(low to Renoldo) Once we're out of sight, lock'im up.  
  
Renoldo: Ok.  
  
Ronnie rides up and lift's Valleri up onto his horse before they even have a chance to say goodbye, and rides away. Once their out of sight, four night's surround Peter.   
  
Peter: Hey! He said you wouldn't hurt me!  
  
Renoldo: And you believed him!? HAH!! Show's how much you know.  
  
Peter frown's as he's being led away.   
  
Nar: CUT! That was great, Peter! Nice job on the hiroic's!  
  
Peter's voice: Thank's!  
  
Scene 15: Blackscreen:  
  
Nar: And so, Valleri was taken back to Ronnie's castle, where she pretty much moped around, not talking to anyone. One night, she had a dream. Ronnie had addressed the town's people again, this time reporting his fathers death, and the merriage of himself to Valleri. She had come out to address the people, this time as their queen. But when they all bowed to her, one women stoud and cursed her, yelling at her for dismissing her one true love in the forest and marrying another man! When Valleri had had this awefull dream, she made a solid decision right then and there.   
Gosh darn these stupid monolog's! Matt, find Dassa and tell her to gimme back my water bottle!  
  
Open Scene: Ronnie sit's at a desk, writing, when a man comes into the room.   
  
Man: You wanted me?  
  
Ronnie:(looks up) Ah, yes. I have a job for you, Jeremy.   
  
Jeremy:(rubbing hands together evily) Heeheehee, I'm all ears, you're highness.   
  
Ronnie: Good. Now listen, I want you to clear out the theives forrest, arrest everyone. I've heard that our enemy across the sea is planning to murder my fiance on the night of out honeymoon.   
  
Jeremy: It would take all my men plus reinforcement's to do that!  
  
Ronnie: Then get to it! I want--  
  
Ronnie stop's talking when Valleri enters the room.   
  
Ronnie: Hello, darling!  
  
Valleri:(ignoring his greeting) It comes to this, I love Peter. I alway's have and I alway's will. But if you say that I still have to marry you, don't think I'm joking when I tell you I'll be dead by morning.  
  
Ronnie is not too shocked about this, and think's for a moment.   
  
Ronnie: Ok, consider the wedding off. We'll send word to this.....  
  
Valleri: Peter.  
  
Ronnie: Peter, right away. (hesitant) But, if by any chance he shouldn't accept you, since you're the one who left after all, (taking her hand) Please consider me as an alternative to suicide?  
  
Valleri:(sighs) Very well.   
  
Scene 16: Peter is strapped to a table in a lab somewhere under ground. Sitting in a chair nearby is Micky, wearing a brown cloak over his normal clothes and reading something.  
  
Nar: So they took Peter captive and hid him in their secret underground laboratory.  
  
Peter opens his eye's and looks around, then sees Micky. For a moment, he doesn't do anything, only screw's up his face in thought. He then looks at the camera.  
  
Peter:(whispering) What's my line?  
  
Nar:(smack's forehead) Talk to Micky!  
  
Peter: Oh........what do I say?  
  
Nar: Ask him who he is!  
  
Peter:(confused) But I already know who he is.  
  
Nar: Not in this scene you don't!  
  
Peter: Oh, right. Ok......(clears throat)......Who are you?  
  
Micky:(looking up from reading) Huh?  
  
Micky obviously hasn't been listening to the conversation between Peter and the Narrator.  
  
Micky: Oh, right! I'm Micky......I mean, I'm an over-worked, under-paid, and under apreciated laboratory ganater.  
  
Peter: Oh......Where am I?  
  
Micky:(turning back to reading) On a table.  
  
Peter roll's his eye's and blows air from his cheeks, that had not been the answer he was expecting.  
  
Peter: Watcha readin'?  
  
Micky: The script.  
  
Peter: Hm......Which part?  
  
Micky: The part where you die.  
  
Peter's eye's widen and a nasious look crosses his face.  
  
Micky:(grinning) I'm kidding, man. Take a load off. You're the hero, remember? You can't die.  
  
Peter: Oh, that's true. Say, what are you doing down here, anyway? I thought you already had a part?  
  
Un-identified voice: Tight casting!  
  
Micky: Shut up!  
  
Peter snickers slightly, and Micky glares at him before turning back to his reading. Peter stop's.  
  
Peter: So when do I get outta here? This table's really uncomfortable..........  
  
Micky: Uh......(flip's through script).....Somewhere around scene twenty, I think.  
  
Peter: Oh, ok.  
  
Just then, a door open's at the far end of the room and Count Renoldo enters.  
  
Micky: Hi there!  
  
Peter: Hi!-oh, it's you.  
  
Renoldo:(smiling widely) Yes! It is I! Renoldo!!  
  
He strikes a theatrical pose, and Micky and Peter both roll their eye's. Renoldo drops his pose, dissapointed.  
  
Renoldo:(frowning; sarcastically) Gosh, don't all cheer at once.  
  
He walk's over to a strange looking machine, then look's over at Micky, expectantly. Micky frowns, puzzled.  
  
Micky: What?  
  
Nar: Take him over there!  
  
Micky:(looking at camera) Who?  
  
Nar: Peter!!  
  
Peter: What?  
  
Micky, Oh, right.  
  
Peter:(confused) Huh?  
  
Micky jump's from his seat and tosses aside the script, which knock's over a shelf of glass bottles! Everyone flinches at the sound of shattering glass, and the Narrator smack's his/her forehead, groaning.  
  
Micky: Oooops.....heh heh......(clears throat)  
  
Micky turns his attention back to the job at hand, and pushes the table in which Peter is laying on over to the machine, and Renoldo begin's to hook Peter up to the machine by sticking little suction cup's here and there.  
  
Peter:(nervously) What are you doing?  
  
Renoldo: You'll see.  
  
Peter: What if I don't want to?  
  
Renoldo: You don't have a choice.  
  
Peter: Drat.  
  
Micky: Can I leave now?  
  
Renoldo: No, stay and watch, you might learn something.  
  
Micky: From you? (crossing arms) I hardly think so.  
  
Renoldo ignores this comment and walk's over to a large lever.  
  
Renoldo: Are you ready?  
  
Peter:............No.  
  
Renoldo: Too bad.  
  
He pushes up on the lever, and the machine begin's to make noise as it starts up. They both watch, Renoldo with interrest, Micky with grief, as Peter's entire body jerk's forcefully. He closes his eye's tight and bites his lower lip, trying not to scream. Micky cringes and turns away, not wanting to watch.   
Then it all stops, and all is quiet.  
  
Renoldo: Peter! You've just had one year of your life removed, what are you gonna do next!?!  
  
Micky roll's his eye's, disgusted, and Peter begin's to cry.  
  
Renoldo: Hm....Fascinating.   
  
Scene 17: Blackscreen.  
  
Nar: As luck would have it, the three remaining pirates had met back up and decided that, concidering the old fart was dead, they needed a new leader.  
  
Mike's voice: Hey, I thought I was alway's the leader!  
  
Nar: Sorry, Mike, but that's your TV show, this is a completely different gig.  
  
Mike's voice: Hmph.  
  
Nar: Anyway, they set out to find one.  
  
Scene opens to show Mike and Davy walking alone through the forest.  
  
Nar: Hey, where's Micky?  
  
Just then, Micky run's on from off SR, drest in the attire from scene 7-9, as are Mike and Davy.  
  
Micky:(looking at camera) Sorry, I had to change, no one told me my scene was coming up.  
  
Nar: Whatever, just keep it going.  
  
Davy:(looking at camera) Boy, you sure are in a rotten mood, aren't you?  
  
Nar:(ignoring Davy) Say your next line, Mike.  
  
Mike: Ok, uh.........(looking at camera) What's my next line?  
  
Davy:(pointing) Hey, look!  
  
Mike: Oh yeah, that's my line........  
  
All three turn to see Renoldo walking out of a passageway in a tree and walking away, not noticing them.  
  
Micky: Think he'd be a good leader?  
  
Mike: Naw, he's a bad guy.  
  
Micky & Davy: Oh.  
  
Scene 18: Ronnie sit's at his desk, writing, when Valleri enters. Ronnie sees her and smiles, getting up from his chair.  
  
Ronnie: Hi!  
  
Valleri:(not returning his greeting) Any word from Peter?  
  
Ronnie: Nope, not yet. You know, you shouldn't get your hope's up. He may not answer, or we may not be able to find him. (smiling) Of course, soon we'll be married and it won't matter anymore.  
  
Pause:  
  
Valleri:(suspiciously) You didn't send word to him, did you?  
  
Ronnie look's at her, pretending to be surprised.  
BUSTED!  
He say's nothing.  
  
Valleri: No matter, Peter will come for me anyway.  
  
Ronnie roll's his eye's.   
  
Ronnie: Silly girl, your faith in that long-haired dummy is hilarious.  
  
Valleri's eye's narrow with rage and she SLAP'S Ronnie across the face.   
  
Valleri: Don't ever speak of my Peter in such a way!  
  
Ronnie:(after composing himself) I wouldn't have done that if I were you.  
  
He grabbes her arm and pull's her out of the room.  
  
Change scene: Ronnie pushes Valleri into her room and lock's the door, entrapping her.  
  
Valleri:(from inside) Let me out!!  
  
Ronnie walk's off, ignoring her demand's.  
  
Scene 19: Mike, Micky and Davy are still standing in the wood's. Long Pause.  
  
Nar:(whispering) Hey! Psssssst! We're rolling!  
  
Mike:(Looking at camera) Huh? Oh, we're waiting for Ronnie.  
  
Davy:(looking at camera) Yeah, he's supposed to storm into the shot and we're supposed to be hiding.  
  
Nar: Then why aren't you?  
  
All three look at each other in question, then walk off SL.  
  
Nar: Hey, where are you going!?  
  
Micky:(from offstage) We're hiding.  
  
Nar: Oh. Ronnie, where are you!?   
  
Just then, a young girl with light brown hair walk's in from SR, dressed in faded 60's jeans and a tan "The Who" T-shirt, wearing a headset and holding a clipboard.  
  
Girl: Um, I think he's in the bathroom.  
  
Nar: Hadassah! I'm filming!  
  
Hadassah(Dassa): Oh, sorry.  
  
She rushes off SR.  
  
Dassa's voice: He's comin'!  
  
Nar: Ok, thank's!  
  
Footsteps:  
  
Ronnie's voice: You ready?  
  
Nar: Yes, I've been ready.  
  
Ronnie's voice: Ok.   
  
Ronnie storm's on from SR and walk's into the secret entrance in the tree. Once he's gone, Mike, Micky and Davy come out.  
  
Micky: Think he'd be a good leader?  
  
Davy: No, he's a prince.  
  
Micky:("duh" attitude) Exactly!  
  
Mike: Nah, he's already got a whole country to take care of.   
  
Micky: True.  
  
Scene 20: Renoldo is sitting at a card table playing card's with Mr. Schnieder, the Monkee's dummy (don't ask me how this is done, but they do it in the show all the time).   
Peter is still strapped to the table with suction cup's attached to him. There is a long pause before anyone does anything.  
  
Nar: Where's Micky?  
  
Renoldo:(looking up) I dunno, he's probably changing.  
  
Nar: Crap, we don't have time for this. David!!  
  
The camera is slightly knocked out of place and we hear footsteps. The Narrator is walking away.  
  
Nar:(distant) David!?! Dassa, where's David?  
  
Dassa's voice:(distant) I don't know.  
  
Davy walk's by camera and in the direction of the voices, his image is fuzzy because he is so close to the camera and it doesn't have time to focus before he's gone.   
  
Davy's voice:(growing distant as he walk's) I'm right here.  
  
Nar:(distant) Not you, the other David.  
  
Voice:(distant) Did somebody call me?  
  
Nar:(distant) David! There you are. C'mon, I need your help.  
  
More footsteps, then a boy is shoved in front of the camera, script in hand. He is wearing blue-jean short's and a grey t-shirt. The camera begin's to adjust.  
  
David: What am I supposed to do?  
  
Nar: Just say Micky's line's.  
  
David:(looking at script) Oh, ok. That sound's easy.  
  
Nar: Oh, crap! This thing is still on!  
  
Dassa:(distant) Forget about it, just keep going!  
  
Nar: Ok. Ronnie, get ready. And......Action!  
  
Ronnie burst's into the underground laboratory, anger written all over his face.  
  
Renoldo: Oh, hey, Ronnie!  
  
Ronnie ignores him and walk's over to the table Peter is strapped to.  
  
Ronnie: Do you love her?  
  
Peter: Who?  
  
Ronnie: Valleri, you half-witt!  
  
Peter: Well, you don't have to yell. Sure I love her.  
  
Ronnie:(anger rattling his voice) Then believe me, no man will have ever suffered as greatly as you!  
  
Peter's eye's widen at that, and Ronnie reaches for the lever to the machine!   
  
Pause:  
  
Nar:(whispers) David!  
  
David: Huh? Oh......(look's at script)Um......Wait, stop!  
  
Ronnie, taking his cue, pushes up on the lever!  
  
Renoldo:(jumping out of his seat) Not that high!!!  
  
Peter's pain-filled scream fill's the entire room and his body jerks violently! David shudders and turns away.  
  
David:(mumbling) I can't believe I agreed to do this.  
  
After a moment, Ronnie pushes the lever back down, and the screams stop. Peter is still.  
  
Pause:  
  
David:(not understanding the scene) You suck, man!!  
  
Nar: David!!  



	3. A Monkees Bride - part3

Scene 21: Wood's; Ronnie exit's the secret hideout, followed by Renoldo, as well as a sulking David.  
  
CUT TO: Mike and Davy sneaking into the lab and over to the table Peter is laying on. He is no longer strapped down, and the suction cup's have been removed from his body.  
  
Nar: Where's Micky now?  
  
Mike:(looking at camera) I give up, where?  
  
Narrator smack's his/her forehead, groaning, just as Micky run's on from off SR.   
  
Micky:(looking at camera) Why didn't you tell me you were gonna have David do the last scene?!  
  
Davy:(confused) I didn't do the last scene.  
  
Nar: I told Jesse to tell you.  
  
Micky: Yeah, after I was already dressed for the scene!  
  
Dassa's voice: Hey. if you'd have gotten ready a little faster, we wouldn't have had to get David to do your part in the first place!  
  
Nar: Dassa!  
  
Davy:(still confused) But I didn't do Micky's part!  
  
Nar: Not you, Davy.  
  
Micky: It wouldn't have killed you to wait five minutes! I had to change!!  
  
Dassa: It take's you five minutes to throw a cloak over your head and get your butt on stage!?!  
  
Micky: Hey, you wanna piece a'me, kid!?  
  
Nar: Guy's-  
  
Dassa:(walking on from SL) No, I want the whole thing!  
  
Micky: Bring it on, short stuff!  
  
Dassa and Micky lunge at each other and fall to the stage floor, fighting!  
  
Mike: Micky, stop it!!  
  
Matt's voice:(distant) Hey, what's goin' on?  
  
Nar: C'mon, you guy's! Knock it off!  
  
Davy:(grinning) Cat fight!!  
  
Peter:(sitting up) What!!?  
  
Matt's voice:(growing closer) Huh!?  
  
Mike: What!!?  
  
Nar: Davy!!  
  
Micky: Why you-  
  
Micky forget's about Dassa and jump's to his feet. Davy run's off SR, laughing, and bump's into Matt who is entering, confused. Micky charges after him, also bumping into Matt, who fall's.  
  
Matt: Whoa!  
  
He hit's the floor.  
  
Nar: Guy's!! Get back here!! Matt, are you OK?  
  
Dassa:(getting up; mumbling; brushing off her clothes) Stupid idiot.....  
  
Nar:(Scolding) Dassa!  
  
Dassa walk's off SL. Mike offer's a hand to Matt and helps him up. Peter look's at the camera.  
  
Peter: Can I go to the bathroom?  
  
Nar:(sighing) Yeah, go ahead.  
  
Peter hop's off the table and exit's, SR. Mike and a very confused Matt look at the camera.  
  
Nar: Now what?  
  
Mike: I dunno......(look's at watch)........You wanna go get lunch or somethin'?  
  
Nar: Sure, let's wait for Peter, though. I think he said something about wanting to eat earlier. You wanna come, Matt?  
  
Matt: I guess.  
  
Mike: Ok, (to Narrator) you and Matt go round up a couple people and I'll bring my truck around.  
  
Nar: Alright.  
  
Mike walk's off SL; Matt exit's SR and footstep's can be heard as he and the Narrator walk's away. Their footsteps fade into the distance and Mike's footsteps are cut off by a closing door.  
  
Scene 21: Part 2: Take 2: Mike, Micky and Davy are standing in front of the table Peter is laying on.  
  
Davy: Is he dead?  
  
Mike: I don't know.  
  
Micky: What are we gonna do?  
  
Pause:  
  
Mike: I have an idea.  
  
Scene 22: Wood's; just outside a little house.   
  
Micky's voice: Man, do we really have to CARRY him?  
  
Nar: Yes.  
  
Dassa's voice:(distance) Unless you don't think you can handle it!?  
  
Micky's voice: Gosh darn you-  
  
Nar: That's enough, you two.  
  
After a moment, Mike, Micky and Davy enter from off SR, Davy walking in front and Mike and Micky carrying Peter. Micky has Peter's arm's and Mike has Peter's leg's. Davy knock's on the door of the house. No answer. He knock's again, but still no answer. Then Mike realizes something.  
  
Mike: Doh!  
  
He droppes Peter's leg's and run's off SL.   
  
Micky: Mike!  
  
Davy rushes to help Micky just as the door opens to reveal Mike!  
  
Mike: Sorry, I forgot about this part......(clears throught)....Whadda ya want?  
  
Nar: Hold on. Nathan!!  
  
Voice:(distant) Yeah?  
  
Nar: C'mere! I need you to fill in for Mike!  
  
Nate's voice:(growing closer) Why?  
  
Nar: Multiple roll's.   
  
Nathan walk's on from SR in 60's jeans and t-shirt.  
  
Nate:(acting as if he understands) Oh.  
  
Mike hand's Nate his script.  
  
Nar: OK, keep going.  
  
Davy: Are you Miracle Mike?  
  
Mike: I'm retired.  
  
Nate: I don't see how, you're only twenty-three.  
  
Nar: He's supposed to be playing an old man.  
  
Mike: Yeah, I didn't have time to change.   
  
Micky: Well, can you help us?  
  
Mike: Depend's, how much money ya got?  
  
Micky: Five buck's, I think. We just gave Babbitt the rent money.  
  
Mike: I guess it'll hafta do, bring'im in.  
  
Davy, Nate, and Micky carry Peter into the (makeshift) house, and Mike shut's the door.  
  
Davy: Where can we put him?  
  
Mike:(pointing) That table is fine.  
  
Peter:(looking around) Not another table!  
  
Micky: You're supposed to be unconcious.  
  
Peter: Oh.  
  
He goes back into his unconcious position as Davy and Micky lift him up onto the old, wooden table.  
  
Mike: So, what's wrong with him anyway?  
  
Peter:(eye's closed; trying to help) I'm unconcious.  
  
Micky hit's Peter upside the head.  
  
Peter: Ow-  
  
Davy: We're not sure, that prince guy did something to him. Can you fix him?  
  
Mike:(looking Peter over) Hmmmmm.......... I suppose I could try. Hand me that thing, wouldja?  
  
He point's to the object he need's, and Davy hand's him an old-fashioned air pump.  
  
Mike: Thank's.  
  
Just as Mike is about to put the end of the air pump into Peter's mouth, Peter throw's his arm's up, blocking it.  
  
Peter: Uh-uh! No way is he sticking that nasty thing in my mouth!  
  
Nar: Come on, Peter!  
  
Micky: Yeah, man. It's in the script.  
  
Peter: I don't care, do you have any idea where that thing's been!?  
  
Nar: We had it washed.  
  
Peter:(folding his arm's across his chest; scowling) Yeah right.  
  
Nar:(sighs) Jesse!?  
  
Jesse's voice: Huh?  
  
Nar: Did you wash the air pump?  
  
Jesse's voice: No, Matt did.  
  
Nar: Ok, thank's.(to Peter) See?  
  
Peter: Did he wash the inside?  
  
Nar: C'mon, Peter!?  
  
Peter: No! I won't!  
  
He bite's his lip's together to prevent anything from getting inside. The Narrator groans.  
  
Nar: Fine, you don't have to.  
  
Micky: But he need's air in him!  
  
Dassa's voice: Well, we all know you've got plenty of hot air to spare, Mick!  
  
Micky: Man, you're really asking for it!  
  
Nar: Be quiet, Dassa. Don't let it bother you, Micky.  
  
Micky:(crossing arm's) Hmph.  
  
Nar: Ya know what? Why don't you take a brake. Find Jesse and you guy's can go get lunch since you didn't get to come with us earlier. I'll have David fill in for ya.  
  
Micky: You sure?  
  
Nar: Yeah, I'm positive. Hey Dassa, can you go find David for me?  
  
Dassa's voice: Sure.  
  
Davy: I'm right here.  
  
Mike: Not you, the other David.  
  
Davy: Oh.   
  
Nar: I think Jesse's in the film room looking for more blank reel's, Micky.  
  
Micky:(walking off, SR) Oh, ok. Thank's.   
  
David's voice:(distant) Did you want me?  
  
Nar: Yeah, I need you to fill in for Micky again.   
  
David's voice:(coming closer) Again, what for?  
  
Nate: He needed a brake.  
  
David: Oh.   
  
Mike: Yeah, no thank's to Dassa......  
  
Nar:(wanting to change subject) AN-EE-WAY!!  
  
Mike:(to Davy and David) I think I found the problem with your friend, here.  
  
David:(puzzled) But you didn't do anything?  
  
Davy:(whispering) We're skipping that part.  
  
David: Oh.   
  
Mike: Now, where did I put those blasted Miracle pill's.......  
  
He begin's searching around the room.   
  
Mike: Phyllis!?  
  
A women walk's into the room from off SL.   
  
Phyllis: What is it, honey?  
  
Mike: Guy's, this is my wife, Phyllis.  
  
David: But we know that already.  
  
Davy: Not in this movie, we don't.   
  
David: Oh, ok. Sorry.  
  
Mike: Phyllis, have you seen-  
  
Phyllis hold's up a small, white bottle, and Mike stop's talking, realizing that she's way ahead of him.  
  
Mike:(taking bottle) Thank's.  
  
Phyllis: You left them by the kitchen sink again. You have to stop doing that or else they'll fall into the garbage disposal again.  
  
Mike: Ok, I'm sorry. I'll try an' remember next time, hon.  
  
Phyllis smile's and give's Mike a kiss on the cheek before turning and leaving the room SL.  
  
Mike:(to the guy's) Here, give him one of these every hour or so.  
  
He write's something on the bottle with a black, perminent marker before handing it to David, who read's it. The wrapper on the bottle says Tylenol, and written over it in black is Myrakl Pil's (purpose wrong spelling)  
  
Nate: Thank's, man!  
  
David: This is Tylenol.  
  
Mike: I know, it work's miracles! Just don't give him too many at once or he'll end up in the hospital.  
  
Phyllis' voice: Like you did?  
  
Mike's face turn's read with embarresement.  
  
Davy: Well, I guess we better get goin' then. Thank's again, Mike.  
  
David: Yeah! Thank's!  
  
They both lift Peter off of the table and exit the (makeshift) house, SR.  
  
Mike:(waving) No problem, guy's! Good luck!  
  
Davy, Nate, David & Peter!: Thank's!  
  
Scene 23: Davy, Nate, and David sit with Peter on the outside of the castle wall. Just then, Mike rushed on from SL, now dressed in attire from scene 7-9.   
  
Mike: Ok, I'm here.  
  
Nate: Alright.  
  
Nate walk's off SR.  
  
Davy: Is Micky back yet?  
  
Mike: I'm not sure. (turning; yelling offstage) Hey, Dassa, did Micky and Jesse get back yet!?  
  
Dassa's voice:(purposely being annoying) I don't know, did they?  
  
Mike roll's his eye's.  
  
Mike:(sarcastically) Thank's for your help.  
  
Dassa's voice: Any time!  
  
Nar: Oh well, he'll be back soon. Let's just keep going.  
  
Mike: Ok.....(clears throat)......David, you say the starting line.   
  
David: I do? (look's at script) Oh....um.........  
  
He look's around the corner of the wall at the gaurd's standing by the door, then back at the others.  
  
David: Any idea's for getting inside?  
  
Davy:(pointing his thumb at Peter) That's what we've got him for.  
  
Peter is sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, still unconcious. Davy is sitting next to him, and Mike and David are standing.  
  
David: But he's unconcious.  
  
Mike: That's what the miracle pill's are for.  
  
David: You mean Tylenol?  
  
Mike: Whatever.  
  
Davy: Say, why are we braking into the castle anyway?  
  
Mike: Because his girlfriends' in there, and we gotta save'er.  
  
David: Why?  
  
Mike: Because she's being forced to marry the prince.  
  
David: Poor thing....I pitty her.....  
  
Davy: How is it that you know all this, Mike?  
  
Mike:(grinning) I read the script.  
  
Davy & David: Ooooohhhh.........  
  
David: Should we give him some Tylen-...er...a miracle pill now?  
  
Mike: Yeah, get'em out. Sittin' around here talkin' ain't doin' us no good.  
  
David pull's the small, white bottle out of his pocket and opens it, pulling out one small pill. Then he hand's it to Mike and closes the bottle, sticking it back into his pocket. Then he crouches down by Peter, as does Mike.  
  
Mike: Open his mouth, Dave.  
  
David and Davy both reach, then look at each other, puzzled.  
  
Mike:(pointing at Davy) That Dave.  
  
David blushes and pull's his hand back, and Davy set's to work opening Peter's mouth. Once open, Mike stick's the pill in and closes it.   
  
Davy: How long do you think it'll take before he come's to?  
  
Mike: Oh, I'd give him a good hour at least-  
  
Just then, Peter's eye's snap open and he look's around, petrified.  
  
Peter:(freaking out) Where am I!?!?!  
  
Mike: Whoa! Calm down, man!!  
  
Peter: Mike!? Mike!! Oh, thank God it's you!!  
  
Peter jump's on Mike, clinging to him like a life preserver and nearly knocking him over!  
  
Mike:-Oof!  
  
Davy: Oh sure, (crossing arm's; pouting) You're glad to see Mike, but are you glad to see me? Nooooo......  
  
David:(to himself; scratching his head in wonder) Why don't girl's cling to me that way?  
  
Peter:(histarically) Mike!! There was this guy!!.....and....and...he-he had this machine.....and a table and......Oh God, it was terrible!!!! Don't let them take me back!!! Don't let them take me back!!!!!  
  
  
Mike:(rolling his eye's; trying to comfort Peter) I know, Peter, I know.....  
  
Scene 24: Valleri is sitting in front of a large vanity, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She is wearing a beautiful wedding dress; Ronnie is standing behind her.  
  
Ronnie: You don't seem excited, my little love muffin?  
  
Valleri: I'm not getting married tonight.  
  
She stand's and turn's to face him.  
  
Valleri: Peter will save me.  
  
Then she walk's off SL. Once she's gone, Ronnie turns to the camera and smiles evilly.   
  
Ronnie:(low to himself) Bwahahaha....  
  
Scene 25: David, Davy, Mike, and Peter are standing outside the castle walls. Peter is back to normal now(thank God!).  
  
Peter: So what's your plan for getting inside?  
  
The other three look at each other, puzzled.  
  
David: Well, um....we were hopin' that...maybe......you'd be able to think of somethin'.  
  
Peter: Me!?  
  
Davy: Yeah, you're the brains of this outfit.  
  
Peter:(worried) I am?  
  
Mike: Yep.  
  
Peter: But I don't have the slightest idea how to get us inside!  
  
Mike: C'mon, man! Think of Valleri!  
  
Taking Mike's advice seriously, Peter closes his eye's and think's back.....  
  
FADE TO: Flashback:   
  
SONG: Forget That Girl: Recorded at RCA Victor Studio C, Hollywood, March 7 & 8, 1967. Featured in One Man Shy(duh!).  
  
Scene's from One Man Shy play across the screen for a good five minutes. Then...  
  
Mike's voice: Peter?...(pause).....Peter!!  
  
CUT BACK TO: Peter's eye's snap open and he look's at Mike, determined.   
  
Peter: Let's do it!  
  
David:(punching the air with enthusiasme) All right!!!  
  
Davy: Groovy! Now we're getting somewhere!  
  
Mike: See Peter, I knew you could do it! What's your plan?  
  
Peter: Plan? I don't have a plan.....  
  
Mike groans and smacks his forehead, Davy roll's his eye's, David look's heavenward with a "why me?" look on his face.   
  
Micky's voice: Wait! I'm here!!  
  
Nar: Micky!! There you are, where have you been!?  
  
Micky:(running on from SR) Some jerk side-swipped my car and we ended up in a ditch.   
  
Nar: Is Jesse ok?  
  
Micky: Yeah, she's all right. She's in the bathroom right now.   
  
Nar: Ok, you can go now, David.  
  
Davy: I can?  
  
David: Thank God!  
  
He throws the script over his shoulder and walks off SL.  
  
Davy: Can I leave?  
  
Nar: No.   
  
Davy:(whining) You gave Micky a brake!  
  
Nar: Micky was over-stressed, you're not.  
  
Davy:(hands on hips) You really don't like me, do you?  
  
Nar: I only don't like you when you're being annoying, other then that, I like you plenty. You just need to lighten up.  
  
Davy: Lighten up!! I'm plenty lightened up!! If I were anymore lightened up, I'd be floating!!  
  
Nar: Alright, alright!! Take a brake!! (yelling) Matt, can you fill in for Davy? He need's a brake before he explodes, I can't handle him anymore!  
  
Matt's voice:(distant) Sure.  
  
Davy storms off SR, his attitude clearly taking a turn for the worse.  
  
Nar: Mike, you don't wanna take a brake too, do you?  
  
Mike: Nope, I'm doin' just fine. I'll be the dependable one for ya since it seems the others ain't.  
  
Nar:(sighing tiredly) Thanks, Mike.   
  
Peter: Hey, I can be dependable, too! I haven't taken a single brake yet! Can I be the dependable one, too?  
  
Nar:(as if to a child) Yes, Peter. You're very dependable, too.   
  
Peter smiles broadly, just as Matt enters from off SL.  
  
Matt: What did you guy's do to Davy?  
  
Nar: We didn't do anything to Davy.   
  
Matt: Well, I just saw him going into the brake room. Two seconds later, Dassa and Jesse nearly RAN out.   
  
Nar: He's just got an attitude problem right now.  
  
Matt: Attitude problem or not, somebody better go talk to him before he brakes the coffee machine.   
  
Nar: Coffee machine?  
  
Matt: Jesse said he was tryin' to make coffee.   
  
Peter, Mike, and Micky: Uh-oh.  
  
Nar: I'll go talk to him. (calling) Jesse, can you take over at the camera for me?  
  
Jesse's voice: Sure thing.  
  
Footsteps are heard as the Narrator walks away and Jesse walk's up to man the camera.   
  
Jesse's voice: Where are we?  
  
Peter: In Studio 23.  
  
Jesse's voice: No, I mean in the script.   
  
Mike: Um...I think it's scene 25.  
  
Jesse's voice: Oh, ok. Matt, I take it you're filling for Davy.   
  
Matt: Yep, where do I stand?  
  
Jesse's voice: Um.....(obviously checking script) Over there by Micky. Do you have a script?  
  
Matt: No.   
  
Mike:(picking up the script David dropped before) Here, use this one. I think Davy took his with him.  
  
Matt:(taking script) Thanks.  
  
He begin's to flip through the script, looking for the right scene.  
  
Jesse's voice: Alright, Micky, you've got the next line.   
  
Micky: Ok....(clears throat)....Hey, I've got an idea!  
  
Peter: Oh good, that means I won't have to think of something!  
  
Matt: What is it, Micky?  
  
Micky: Well, considering how many gaurds there are at the door, I thought this might work.....  
  
Scene 26: A bunch of men are standing around the front gate of the castle, gaurding it.  
  
Gaurd 1:(speaking to the gaurd next to him) Think we'll have any trouble?  
  
Gaurd 2: I doubt it, the prince is probably just being paranoid.  
  
Gaurd 1: Yeah, I know. (beat) Ya know, I've been thinking of quitting this job.  
  
Gaurd 2: Why?  
  
Gaurd 1: I'm missing my daughters birthday for this.  
  
Gaurd 2: Oh.  
  
Scene 27: Inside chapel: Wedding music is being played on an organ in the background as Ronnie and Valleri walk down the isle.  
  
Ronnie:(low to Valleri) Well, here goes nothing.  
  
Valleri: You're absolutely right.  
  
Ronnie understands the meaning of that comment completely, but says nothing as they stop in front of the priest. There is a short pause after the organ stops playing, then the priest speaks.  
(I had to add this!!)  
  
Priest: Mawwage(marriage).....Mawwage(marriage) is whot(what) bwings(bring's) us togevah(together)....today. Dat(that) Bwessed(blessed) event....Dat(that) dweam(dream)....wiffin(within).....a dweam(dream)......  
  
Some people in the back rows are snickering at how the man talks, others are groaning.  
  
Scene 28: Blackscreen:  
  
Jesse's voice: Uh...On acount of scene 28 seems to be missing at the moment, we're going to skip to scene 29. Thanks.  
  
Scene 29: Mike, Micky, Peter, and Matt are sneaking down one of the hallways of the castle. They are apparently lost.  
  
Mike: Where in tarnation are we!?  
  
Matt pull's a large map out of his pocket and unfolds it, looking it over, with Mike looking over his shoulder and Micky and Peter standing next to him.   
  
Matt: Ah-hah! We're right here.  
  
He points to a spot on the map.  
  
Mike, Micky, and Peter: Ooooohhhh.........  
  
Just then, a couple gaurds and Count Renoldo round a corner and come face to face with our group. Renoldo sees Peter.   
  
Renoldo: You!?!  
  
Peter: Me?  
  
Renoldo:(to his men) Get'em!  
  
Micky: I think this would be a good time to run.   
  
Mike: Me too.   
  
They turn and take off in the other direction, and Renoldo and his gaurds follow.   
  
Scene 30: Chapel: The priest is continueing.   
  
Priest:.....In which wuv(love), twu wuv(true love).....Wiw(will) Fowwow(follow) you......Fo'evah(forever).....  
  
Ronnie:(low to priest) Skip to the end.  
  
Priest: Have you da wing(the ring)?  



	4. A Monkees Bride - part4

Scene 31: Blackscreen:  
  
Nar: So Renoldo had discovered our hero's, and was now hot on their tial....  
  
ROMP(I had to!!): Song: All The King's Horses:  
  
FIRST: The Monkees(+Davy, -Matt) are running down a stone corridor, then they come to an innersection. A stop light hang's from the ceiling, and it changes from red to green. The Monkees continue running through the corridor and dissapear. But When Renoldo and his group arive, the light changes red, and they have to stop and wait!!  
  
SECOND: The Monkees come to another innersection and Mike call's them into a football huddle. He explains his plan, and they brake the huddle. Then each of them goes in a seperate direction.   
  
THIRD: The stop light turns green and Renoldo instructs each of his men to go a different way, which they do. A minute after they leave, Peter walks up to the empty innersection. He looks around, shrugs, then continues on his merry way.   
  
FOURTH: Davy run's past a large statue of a Knights armor. A second later, he comes back and look's at the statue, then he turns to the camera and smiles.  
  
FIFTH: Renoldo is walking catiously down a corridor. Then he rounds a corner and come's face to face with a Knight at least four feet taller then he is!!! In complete terror, Renoldo screams and run's away. After a minute, Micky walk's up behind the Knight and lifts off the helmet, only there is no head!!! Micky run's away, screaming. Once he's gone, the knight lifts off the entire upper half of the armor to reveal Davy, who is a good five feet shorter then this armor (Davy is actually 5'3).  
  
SIXTH: Mike is sitting on the floor up against the corridor wall, playing his guitar. His hat is laying upside down on the floor next to him. Just then, one of the gaurds walk's up to him. He stands for a moment, listening to Mike play. Then he digs into his pockets and drops some change into Mike's hat. After that, he walk's away. Once he's gone, Mike get's up quickly, grabbing his hat, and run's off in the other direction. Not long after that, the gaurd run's by the camera after Mike.  
  
SEVENTH: Micky is running down a corridor, but is stopped by a gaurd! The gaurd pulls out his sword and points it at Micky, mouthing the word "HAH", which we cannot hear. Micky mimic's his every move, grabbing a triple holder candle post and thrusting it out in front of him with an inaudible "HAH". At that, they begin to duel, sword against candle post.  
  
EIGHTH: Peter and Davy are standing back-to-back in a large room, surrounded by about six or seven gaurds! But just as the gaurds are about to attack, a GIRL walks into the room. She is wearing a lovely dress, which is tight in all the right places. Her hair is light blonde, and her eye's are a deep blue. She smiles sweetly as she walks by, waving at all the gaurds, Peter, and Davy. Then she exit's SL. Not a second later, the gaurds practically drop their swords and follow her, as if in a trance, completely forgetting about Peter and Davy.   
Peter sigh's, relieved. Then he looks over at Davy, only to find that Davy is staring in the direction of the girl, and he begin's to walk away, forgetting about Peter. Peter roll's his eye's and grabs onto Davy's shirt collar, dragging him off in the other direction.  
  
NINTH: Micky is still sword/Candle post fighting with the gaurd, when suddenly, the gaurd knock's the candle post from Micky's hands! But just as the gaurd is about to attack again, Micky throws up his arms, yelling an inaudible "STOP"! The gaurd pauses and says something, a questioning look on his face. Micky says a line of things, obviously explaining something(or trying to get out of getting killed), and the gaurd listen's. Then the gaurd says something, then Micky says something and they both laugh! The gaurd tosses aside his sword as he says something else, and they both laugh even harder! Micky puts his arm around the man's shoulder, and they walk away, talking and laughing.   
  
TENTH: Mike is running down a corridor, when suddenly he runs into Peter and Davy, who were coming from the other direction. They all knock each other over and fall to the ground. Just then, Micky runs on from SR, and trips over Peter, landing on Mike!  
  
Music Fades Out: Mike, Micky, Peter, and Davy are climbing to their feet. Peter is rubbing his backside, where Micky had triped. Micky is fine, and Mike is rubbing his head. Davy is also rubbing his head, as well as his behind.   
  
Davy:(rubbing his behind) Bloody cement floors, I wish someone would get off their lazy rumps soon and invent carpet.   
  
Peter: At least you wrren't tripped over.  
  
Micky: How was I supposed to know you were all laying in the middle of the floor?  
  
Dassa's voice: It's called using your eye's.  
  
Micky:(looking off SR) Shut up.   
  
Mike:(rubbing his head) Man, I hit my head on somethin'.  
  
Davy:(also rubbing his head) Yeah, MY head!  
  
Micky: How in the world is that possible? Mike's a good ten inches taller then you.  
  
Mike: But of course we already knew that......  
  
Nar: Would you guys stop thinking out loud and get on with it.   
  
Micky: Kay.   
  
Peter: Sorry.   
  
Scene 32: Chapel: Nearly all the guest's are either asleep or getting really close to it. Valleri's eye's are drooping with boredom, Ronnie clearly look's pissed by the whole situation.  
  
Priest: So chewish you'ah wuv(cherrish your love)....  
  
Ronnie:(hissing) Man and wife, say man and wife!!  
  
Priest: Man an-  
  
Suddenly, the big door at the far end of the room burst's open to reveal Peter!  
  
Peter: STOP!  
  
Everyone is awake and alert now. Ronnie and Valleri turn around.   
  
Valleri: Peter!!  
  
Ronnie:(furious) You!?!  
  
Ronnie whip's out his sword, ready to attack! He lunges at Peter!!  
  
Valleri: NO!!!  
  
(Note: Most everybody in the room is running away by this point)  
  
At the last instant, Peter falls to the floor just as Ronnie reaches him. Un-prepared, Ronnie trips over Peter and flies foreward, hitting the floor and dropping his sword! Peter grabbes the sword and stands, taking on a herioc pose as he points the sword down at Ronnie.  
  
Peter: Like I said, I don't do fight's.  
  
Valleri: Oh, Peter!!  
  
She run's over to him and they embrace(awh.....in't that sweet...).  
  
Mike's voice: See, Peter! I knew you could do it!  
  
Valleri and Peter both turn to see Mike and Micky standing in the doorway.   
  
Micky: And you did it all by yourself, too!  
  
Peter:(smiling) I did, didn't I?  
  
Valleri:(grinning) Oh, Peter....  
  
She lean's foreward, about to kiss him, then...  
  
Nar: Wait!!!  
  
They stop and look at the camera.   
  
Nar: You're not supposed to kiss until the end.   
  
Valleri: Isn't this the end?  
  
Nar: No.   
  
Valleri throws her arms up in exasperation.   
  
Valleri: Oh, for cryin' out loud!  
  
Ronnie:(annoyed) Can we get to the next scene sometime soon? This is a very uncomfortable position.   
  
Peter: Hey, where's Davy?  
  
Mike: In the stable gettin' us a way outta here.  
  
Peter:(teasingly) Stinking jockey, he just can't resist the horses, can he?  
  
Ronnie:(from floor) Oh, great! First you steal my fiance, now you're stealing my horses! Can't I live in peace!!  
  
Mike: That's what we'd like to know. You wantin' t'start a war with the country across (pointing behind him with his thumb) that there ocean is what started this whole mess.   
  
Valleri: What?  
  
Mike: Yeah, see, he was gonna kill you after you guy's were married and blame it on the guy's across the sea so that a war would start. That way, he could beat'em and become known as the great, strong, and powerful Prince Farnsworth.   
  
Valleri:(to Ronnie) Why you-!  
  
She kick's Ronnie hard in the side!  
  
Ronnie: Ow!!!  
  
Peter cringes.   
  
Peter: Nice kick.   
  
Ronnie moans in pain.   
  
Micky:(turning to camera; taking on a Shapespear type of voice) And, thus will it always end for men who take such a thing as leadership to extreme and un-managable levels. As well as those who appose the knowledge of goodness, and kindness, and sweetness...........(normal voice) Being a jerk does not pay!!!  
  
Mike:(heroically) Come, my trusty companions, let us seek out Sir Jones.(pointing onward) Away!!  
  
Micky, Peter, and Valleri:(pointing onward) Away!!  
  
They all rush from the room, leaving Ronnie to wallow in pain(serves him right!).  
  
Scene 33: Grassy hill's which continue out into the horizon: There are four white horses standing side by side. Davy is on one, Micky and Mike are on another, with Mike on the back, Peter is on the third and Valleri is on the last one.  
  
Nar: So, Ronnie Farnsworth was beaten, and Peter and Valleri were together once more.   
  
Valleri and Peter kiss lovingly from atop their horses(eeeewwwww!!).  
  
Micky:(rudely interrupting; whining) How come I have to share my horse!?  
  
As he's saying this, Mike is sneaking his hand around Micky, trying to grab the reighns. Micky elbows him hard in the stomach, and he pulls his hand back. Peter and Valleri look over at Micky, angry because he interrupted the best part of the movie(from some people's point of view).   
  
Nar:(whispering) You guy's can ride off into the sunset now.  
  
The horses begin riding away.   
  
Nar: And so end's our story. A story of love.....a story of courage....and a story of tight casting......The end.  
  
Fade Out.  



	5. A Monkees Bride - part5

Out Takes:  
  
Scene 1: Take 1:   
  
Nar: Huh? Am I supposed to start? Oh, I am.....sorry.........can we do that again?  
  
Take 2:  
  
Nar: A long, long time ago..........(singing American Pie) A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile!  
  
Valleri, Davy, and Jesse are laughing in the background.   
  
Nar:(top volume) And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance and maybe they'd be happy for a while!  
  
More people are laughing.   
  
Nar: But Februray made me shiver, with every paper I'd deliver! Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step!  
  
The sound of a piano starts up, and plays the piano solo to American Pie. As the Narrator sing's, the camera is shifted around to that it's facing the piano at the far end of the room, showing that Peter is playing.   
  
Nar: I can't remember if I cried when I read about his widdowed bride. But something touched me deep inside, the day....the muuuuuuusic....died. (pause) So bye, bye, miss American pie...  
  
Davy:(joining in) Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry!  
  
Together: And them good old boy's were drinking whiskey and rye, singin' this'll be the day that I die! This'll be the day that I....die!  
  
With the last word, Mike starts up on the guitar he had grabbed un-noticed a minute ago, adding to Peter's piano!  
  
Nar: Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in God above, if the Bible tell's ya so! Take it Dassa.   
  
Dassa: What, no I.....(people telling her to sing in background).....And do you believe in rock and roll, can music...save your mortal soul and...can ya teach me how to dance reeeeaaaaal sloooooooww!  
  
Jesse:(bursting out) Well, I know that you're in love with him, 'cause I saw ya dancin' in the gym! (Nar joins her) Ya both kicked off yer shoes, and I dig those rythmy blue's!!  
  
Micky and Matt:(bursting out together) I was a lonely, teenage, bronkin' buck, with a pink carnation and a pick-up truck! But I knew I was outta luck the day....the muuuuuuuuuusic died! We were singin'..  
  
Nar, Dassa, Jesse, Micky, Davy, Peter, Matt, and Mike: Bye, bye miss American pie! Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry! And them good old boy's were drinkin' whisky and rye, singin' this'll be the day that I die! This'll be the day that I.....die!!!  
  
Suddenly, there's is no more singing. Mike and Peter's music slowly come's to a hault.   
  
Nar: I don't know the rest.  
  
Micky:(giggling) Me either...  
  
Suddenly they all start laughing!  
  
Nar: I'm sorry.....I couldn't resist......let's try that take again....  
  
Take 3: Valleri walk's up to the stable with her horse, then pauses, thinking.   
  
Valleri: Crap.......(trying not to giggle) I forgot his name......  
  
Davy snickers slightly from where he stands in the stable.   
  
Scene 2: Take 1: Davy is outside "chopping wood", when Valleri walks up to him with two buckets. She pauses to watch as Davy lifts the ax and bring's it down on the log. The blade hit's the log with a "PING" but doesn't cut it at all! Valleri puts a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. Davy frowns.   
  
Davy: What is this, lead?  
  
Nar:(strained laughter) I don't think it's the wood, Davy.   
  
Scene 6: Ronnie is addressing the crowd.   
  
Ronnie: Hi! I'm the Prince, as you may already know. In about a month or so-  
  
Suddenly, Ronnie stops talking. His face displays a sort of strain. He looks at the camera.   
  
Ronnie: I'll be right back.   
  
He then runs off stage, in the direction of the bathroom.   
  
Scene 7: Take 3: Skip to: Valleri kick's Davy and he fall's to the ground, unconcious.   
  
The rest of the scene take's place. Everyone is gone but Davy. He doesn't move.   
  
Nar: Davy, the scene's over.   
  
He still doesn't move. Dassa come's onto the set from SR and crouches down by him.   
  
Nar: What's e'matter with him?  
  
Dassa:(slightly surprised) Either he's playing a really good unconcious person, or he's really out of it.   
  
Nar: For real!! Valleri, you weren't supposed to actually KICK him!!  
  
Valleri's voice: What was I supposed to do!?  
  
Nar: Oh, for cryin' out loud.....  
  
Scene 10: Take 1: Skip to:  
  
Davy swing's past Peter and the camera on a makeshift vine. Once he's out of sight, he hear....  
  
Davy: Whoa-!!  
  
CRASH!  
  
The vine swing's back, empty.   
  
Take 2: Peter is walking along, then an emtpy wive swing's down and hit's him in the face.   
  
Peter: What the-  
  
Davy's voice: Could you get someone to bring that back up here, I dropped it.   
  
Take 3: Peter is walking along, when Davy swing's onto the set and run's right into him, knocking them both over!  
  
Take 4: Peter is walking along, when Davy swing's by. But before he's out of sight again, his hand's slip and he fall's.   
  
Davy:(getting up) I'm sorry, can we try that again?  
  
Scene 11: Take 1: Skip to:  
  
Mike:(coming out from behind rock) Gosh darnit, Peter, ya......bl......buh....blew the......awe heck....  
  
Take 2:  
  
Mike: Gosh darnit, Peter, you.....uh...........  
  
Take 3:   
  
Mike: Gosh darnit, Peter, ya blew the secret. I'm supposed to.....to...........um.....  
  
Scene 13: Take 1: Peter and Valleri run across the screen and stop SC(stage center).   
  
Valleri: I know who you are, that fact that you're a jerk tell's it all. You're the Dread Pirate Babbit, admit i-  
  
Suddenly, Peter brakes out in histarical laughter!  
  
Peter:(in between laughter) I'm sorry.....y'just.....y'just look so funny!.....  
  
Take 2: Valleri is speaking, and Peter is trying desperately to keep a straight face. Then he can't take it anymore, and he burst's into a fit of histarics!  
  
Valleri:(frustrated; to narrator) I can't work with this!  
  
Scene 16: Peter is strapped to the table in the lab, Micky sits in a nearby chair, reading something.   
  
Nar: So they took Peter captive and hid him in their secret underground lab.   
  
Peter open's his eye's and look's around, then he see's Micky. He open's his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by a loud, farting sound! Micky's face turns red.   
  
Micky: 'Scuse me.   
  
Scene 18: Take 1: Ronnie sit's at his desk, when Valleri enters. He look's up at her, slightly susprised, then look's over at the camera, then back at Valleri.   
  
Ronnie: Oh, are we rolling?  
  
Valleri sigh's frustratingly, rolling her eye's.   
  
Scene 19: Take 1: Skip to: Mike, Micky, and Davy are standing in the wood's. Micky is looking at the camera out of the corner of his eye.   
  
Micky:(eyeing camera) Think he'd be a good leader?  
  
Davy: No, he's a prince.   
  
Micky:(still eyeing camera) Exactly!  
  
Mike: Naw, he's already got a whole....uh.......(scratching his head)....dangit....  
  
Take 2: Skip to:  
  
Micky:(eyeing camera) Exactly!  
  
Mike: Naw, he's already got a whole town...I mean.......uh....Country!! Yeah, that's it! Lemme try that again.....  
  
Scene 21: Take 1: Peter is laying on the table, unconcious. Mike, Micky, and Davy are standing next to the table. Micky is still eyeing the camera.   
  
Davy: Is he dead?  
  
There is a long pause, then Micky and Davy look at Mike.   
  
Mike: What?  
  
Nar: It's your line!  
  
Mike: Oh, it is?  
  
Scene 25: Take 1: Outside the castle wall. Micky is still continuesly eyeing the camera.   
  
Micky: Hey, I've got an idea!  
  
Nar:(interrupting) Micky, don't look at the camera.   
  
Micky:(averting his eye's) Sorry.   
  
Scene 26: Ronnie and Valleri are walking down the isle.  
  
Ronnie:(low to Valleri) Well, here go-WHOA!!  
  
At that moment, Ronnie trip's and fall's face-first on the floor. Valleri make's a sound somewhere in between a snort and a giggle and covers her mouth with one hand, trying not to laugh. Ronnie get's up on his elbow's and look's behind him. Un-satisfied, he climb's to his feet and searches the floor for whatever it was he had tripped over, which was apparantly nothing.   
  
Ronnie:(determined) It was here a second ago, I swear!  
  
Valleri giggles harder, as well as the Narrator.   
  
Scene 28: Mike, Micky, Peter, and Matt are walking down a corridor, apparantly lost. Micky continuesly eye's the camera every now and then.   
  
Mike: Where in....uh.........(smack's forehead) I forgot the word.........  
  
Take 2: Micky is still eyeing the camera, it's becoming a habbit.   
  
Mike: Where in tarnation are we!?  
  
Nar:(interrupting) Don't look at the camera, Micky.   
  
Micky:(slightly startled) Sorry.  
  
Scene 28: Take 1: Skip to: Renoldo has just found the our hero's in the hallway.   
  
Micky:(eyeing camera) I think this would be-  
  
Nar:(interrupting) Micky, please don't look at the camera.   
  
Take 2:  
  
Micky:(eyeing camera) I think-  
  
Nar: Don't look at the camera!  
  
Scene 29: Take 1: Chapel:  
  
Priest:.....In which wuv(love)....twu wuv(true love)......Wiw fowwow(will follow) you....fo'evah(forever)....  
(pause; speaking to Ronnie)...Wonnie(Ronnie), it's you'ah wine(your line).  
  
Ronnie: Huh? Oh, sorry.   
  
Scene 30: Take 1: Skip to: Inside corridor, after Romp.  
  
Mike: Man, I hit my........um.....crap......  
  
Take 2:   
  
Mike: Man, I....er.....hit my, um.......  
  
Micky:(whispering) Head, man! Head!  
  
Mike: My head! Yeah......(clears throat)......Man, I hit my head on somethin'.   
  
Davy: Yeah, MY head!  
  
Micky:(eyeing camera) How in the world is that poss-  
  
Nar:(interrupting) Stop looking at the camera, Micky.  
  
Take 3:   
  
Mike: Man, I hit my head on somethin'.   
  
Davy:(eyeing camera) Yeah, my-  
  
Then he stop's, realizing something. He pull's the script out of his back pocket and start's wapping Micky with it.   
  
Davy: Blast it all, now y'got me doin' it!  
  
Take 4: Micky is not eyeing the camera anymore, but Davy is.   
  
Davy: Yeah, MY head!  
  
Nar: Davy, don't look at the camera.   
  
Davy:(Glaring at Micky) Blame "Eyeball's" over here.   
  
Scene 31: Take 1:   
  
Priest: So-  
  
He is cut off by a terrible screening sound coming from the mic, which fades in and out. Everyone in the room moans loudly and covers their ears!  
  
Nar: Aaaahh!! Nathan, what are you doing!?  
  
Nate's voice:(yelling) I don't-  
  
The screening rapidly grows loud and cut's his voice out, then it dies a little.  
  
Matt's voice:(yelling) What in the world are you doing, Nathan!?  
  
The screening slowly dies out completely, and everyone sigh's, relieved.  
  
Nar: What happened, Matt?  
  
Matt's voice: I dunno, he was screwin' around up here and-  
  
Nate's voice: I was not, the cord came loose on accident!  
  
Scene 31: Take 2: Skip to:  
  
Priest: Man and-  
  
Suddenly the door at the far end of the room burst's open to reveal Peter!  
  
Peter:(stuttering).....uh..........blast....(off SL) What's my line?  
  
Jesse:(saying the one-word line) Stop.  
  
Take 2: The door burst's open to reveal Peter!  
  
Peter: GO! I mean........that's not right......  
  
Take 3: Skip to:  
  
Mike: See Peter, I knew you........uh.....(grinning) I forgot......  
  
FADE OUT:  
  
Begin to roll credit's, then......  
  
Davy's voice: Wait! Wait!!  
  
Cut To Set: The entire set is cleared. Davy is standing SC in 60's t-shirt and jeans.   
  
Davy: Is it on?  
  
Dassa: Yeah, go ahead.   
  
Davy: Ok......you're sure it's rolling?  
  
Dassa: Yes, Davy, now would ya talk already.  
  
Davy: Ok...(clears throat; to audience(camera).......You thought we were gonna leave you hangin' without telling you who the narrator was, didn't you?  
  
Narrator's voice:(distant) Oh, no you don't!  
  
Footstep's are heard, the Narrator is RUNNING away!  
  
Davy: Mike! Micky! Get'er!! (to audience) It's a girl! It's a girl!  
  
Peter:(coming on from SL with a granola bar in his right hand) Who's having a baby!?  
  
Davy: No, no, we're revealing the Narrator!  
  
Peter: Oh, goody! I wanna help!!  
  
He tosses the granola bar over his shoulder and run's off SR in the direction of the commotion, where Mike and Micky are trying to catch the Narrator.   
  
Davy:(smiling evily at camera) Revenge can be so sweet.   
  
Micky's voice: We got'er!  
  
Nar:(struggeling) Guy's, it's supposed to be a secret!  
  
Davy: Not by my standard's.  
  
Nar: You're dead when I get through with you, Jones!  
  
Davy snickers, just as Micky bounds into view from SR.   
  
Micky:(waving to camera) Hiya, everybody!  
  
Mike:(struggling) We're ready!  
  
Micky: Ok, here it is, folk's. The moment you've all been waiting for! I present to you.....the Narrator!  
  
Micky reaches off SR and grabbes somebody, trying to pull them on stage. You can only see their arm, which Micky is pulling.   
  
Nar:(low; trying to bargain) C'mon, Micky, you're making a scene...   
  
Peter:(As he bounds on stage) Exactly!  
  
Davy: I don't think that's what she meant.   
  
Mike:(teasingly) I think she need's a little help.......   
  
Nar: Mike, don't you dare-AAAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Mike walk's on from SR, carrying the Narrator in both arm's, who actually turns out to be Angel(that's me, duh!)!  
  
Nar: Robert Michael Nesmith! Put me down!!  
  
Mike pauses, as if considering.   
  
Mike: Ummmm........no.  
  
Nar: Grrrrrrrr!!!  
  
Peter: Well, here she is, ladies and gentlemen! Our very own Narrator, Angel St. Mathew!!  
  
Mike:(struggling) Who's very hard to hold.  
  
Nar: You bet your underwear, buster!  
  
Just then, she brakes free of Mike's grasp and tries to make a run for it, but Davy grabbes her around the waist, holding her arm's to her side's so that she can't use them for anything dangerous, like pulling his hair!  
  
Davy: Ah, ah, ah, you're not going anywhere. I didn't go to all this trouble for nothing.   
  
Nar: I know where you live, Jones!  
  
Davy: Yeah, so do I.   
  
Nar: Ok, they've seen me. You've officially spoiled the secret. Now let me go!   
  
Dassa's voice:(distant) Wait!! Davy, don't let'er go yet!! (yelling loudly) Everybody on the set!!!!!   
  
There is a clanging of doors and many different kinds of footsteps as all of the crew members come to the stage, as well as the rest of the cast(Ronnie, Valleri, Phyllis....etc). Phyllis bring's her and Mike's son, Christian, with her. Christian, who was holding her hand, let's go and run's over to Mike.   
  
Mike: Hey there, Chris!  
  
He pick's the little boy up and give's him a hug.   
  
Matt: What are we doing?  
  
Dassa: I want to take a picture.  
  
Nar: Oh man........  
  
Davy shift's slightly so that his firm grip on the Narrator look's more like a hug, and not like an imprisoned holding.   
  
Nar: Don't try to look so innocent, Davy. You know darn well you're not.  
  
Davy:(teasing) Why Angel, I'm hurt that you would say such a thing-  
  
Nar: Yeah, right.  
  
Dassa: Everybody gather 'round!  
  
Phyllis moves to stand next to Mike, Peter stand's by Valleri, and Micky simply shoves in next to Davy. The rest of the crew and cast find an open spot and stand. Matt stands on the other side of Davy and gives him bunny ears, as does Ronnie to Nate and Jesse. David, Jesse, and Matt all make funny faces.  
  
Dassa: Ok, now smile!  
  
Everyone does so but the Narrator.   
  
Dassa:(whining) C'mon, Angel!  
  
Sighing, the Narrator give's a small, obviously fake smile. Seeing this, Matt and Micky both reach down and tickle her! The Narrator cries out laughing, just as Dassa take's the picture!  
  
We freeze on that picture for a moment and play the chorus to "You just may be the one".   
  
Fade Out:  
  
Roll Credit's:  
  
Cast:  
Peter/Farmboy.................................Peter Halsten Thorkelson  
Valleri Cartwright.........................................Unkown(Yet)  
Ronnie Farnsworth..........................................Unkown(Yet)  
Mike/Miracle Mike...............................Robert Michael Nesmith  
Micky/Lab assistant..............................George Michael Dolenz  
Davy................................................David Thomas Jones  
Count Renoldo..............................................Unkown(Yet)  
Phyllis........................................Phyllis Barbour Nesmith  
Narration.............................................Angel St. Mathew  
Make-up/Costume design....................................Jessica Ford  
Lighting/Sound............................Nathan Keeslar/Matt McKinley  
Additional Crew.......................Haddassah Whickey/David Wonderly  
Set/Stage/Studio......................................Screen Gems Inc.  
Music........................................................Rhino Co.  
Director/Producer(s).....................Angel St. Mathew/Mike Nesmith  
Writer(s).....................Angel St. Mathew/Davy Jones/Mike Nesmith  
  
Screen Gems Production  
Recording: Studio 23, Screen Gems Co.   
6920 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood,   
California 90028.   
Used By Permission; All Right's Reserved.  
  
(NOTE: This story is in no way true, nor did I write the original plot, I just messed with the original story until I came up with something of my own(or what you might call my own). Don't sue me, I'm a nice person! Plus, I don't got no money, so it wouldn't do you any good anyway.) 


End file.
